Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize