Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
