Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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