I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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