So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize