I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
