Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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