sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
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