can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
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Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
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I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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