If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
