i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
