Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
