My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I pour the whiskey from now on
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
