I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
