I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize