Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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