Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize