I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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