I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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