He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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