is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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