So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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