Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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