why didn't you poke me back
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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