she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
