just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
