Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
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Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
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Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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