You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
