You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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