had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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