My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
