But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We need to rekindle our bromance
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
