Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
