Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize