I wish my penis had an off switch
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
