I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
