By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize