Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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