And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
