dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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