grandma shit on top of the toilet
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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