I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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