You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
