I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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