Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
