Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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