i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
