hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
