i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
