She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You pole danced in your parka.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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