ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
