he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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