Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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