yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
