Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Mom said you looked used
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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